The Illusion of Control

An interesting conversation I had last week helped me re-evaluate what I refer to as the illusion of control.  I have had a difficult time in my few adult years to understand what I truly have control over.  Growing up, I felt that if I did my best to try and be a "good little girl", everyone would get along and everything would be fine.  When my brothers would fight with one another, I would try and help create peace (well many times I'm sure I jumped in to fight too) but I knew I would receive praise from parents about being a peacemaker and being a "good little girl".  Well now I'm an adult, and I've realized life just isn't as simple as when I was seven years old.  There are some situations where no matter what you do, you won't come out with everyone thinking you were still the "good little girl".  Why is this? Because it's not in our control.  You can only do as much as humanly possible sometimes before you have run out of the area in which you can actually control.  What we can not control is how other people feel about us.  I can not seem to deal with this reality and find myself going crazy dealing with that possibility that it may be true.  We are all wired differently. What effects me in a particular way will not effect my neighbor in the same manner.  While I have a conversation with someone and get one thing out of it, someone else can have a completely different perspective.  
This is all okay, and in the end, everything will fall where it should...unless we are incapable of accepting what we can and can not control.  I have tried everything from making a list of a column of what I can control and a column of what I can not, journaling about it, reading books about it, talking to professionals, friends, family, etc, and I can not get myself to accept the reality.  
And then, I realized I had the answer in front of me the whole time.  President Ucthdorf's talk last October was an answer to my prayers.  He says, 
"My dear brothers and sisters, we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most. Let us be mindful of the foundational precepts our Heavenly Father has given to His children that will establish the basis of a rich and fruitful mortal life with promises of eternal happiness. They will teach us to do “all these things … in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that [we] should run faster than [we have] strength. [But] it is expedient that [we] should be diligent, [and] thereby … win the prize.”"


So the reason I love this so much is because I realize that by me freaking about the things, people, situations, feelings, etc. I can not control, I am not focusing on what matters most.  Continuing forward with what I can control instead of dwelling on what I can not would be the most important task I could carry out at this time in life.  I am so grateful for our modern day revelation that helps me in every aspect of my life!!