Thank you Hilary and Mother Teresa

Well, if I was ever wondering how completely stereotypically female I am, the results are in, and it's a positive.  So, I have shed another tear because of feelings of complete inadequacy and failure...I know many females can empathize.  We all seem to do it, right? Well, I hope I'm not the only one.  I seem to have these overwhelming dramatic feelings. I don't know what to do with these mascara ruining moments and many times don't even know why they suddenly pop up from the middle of no where.  

Well, today, even though I totally and completely appreciated the many lessons I learned from General Conference, I had a complete breakdown.  I have so much room for progress in every aspect of my life and despite my knowledge of the Savior's ability to make up in the bajillion areas for which I lack, I just got discouraged.  Well, there is always and will always be a cure to these moments. 

1. Talk to my mom...her words are like magic. And she loves me. Unconditionally. (and listens unconditionally)

2. Church music...ahh..sometimes Taylor Swift can do it for me, but when she isn't even enough Hilary Weeks is. 

3. Mother Teresa quotes. 

4. Be ALONE. 

Let me expound....

Ok, well, no need for expounding for on why my mom is on the list...if you know her, you know why. 

Hilary Weeks gets it...I don't know what her experiences in life have been, but that woman knows what it's like to be a Latter-day Saint female.  You see, I'm convinced that many of us can avoid some of the HUGE pitfalls out there but the mists of darkness get us big time.  Discouragement, inadequacy, the lack of ability to see eternal potential, I think these can really get us when we aren't paying attention.  Let me give a few quotes from some of her songs that struck home tonight, 

"He knew there’d be moments when no earthly words

Could take away your sorrow 
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through 
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do 
He will lift your heavy load and carry you"

Another one..

"But I need you by my side
I don't have the strength
To make it on my own
And Lord, do you hear my prayer
How soon will you answer me? "

And my absolute favorite

"It may seem simple all the little things you do, 

But the lives you touch matter so much, 

And there's no one else like you. 

Father needs you to stand tall and faithful..oh if you could see what he sees."

So anyways, finally, I love Mother Teresa....I don't understand how someone could be so phenomenally service oriented and not want to pull her hair out..anyhow some day I shall ask her..until then, I love her quotes. I google them regularly.  It seems as if there is always one that answers a question I have.  This week this specific quote hit the spot.  

      People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

            If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

            If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed              anyway.

           If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

            What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

            If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

            The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

         Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

         In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway. 

FINALLY, I think it's important we just sit by our self with our self completely isolated from what anyone can say to us besides God. There's too much noise in this world.  Too many people pulling us this way and that. As that great woman says, it was never between us and them anyway. SO I learned that talking to God is going to be much more beneficial than letting my mind be consumed with my mile long list of imperfections....He can take care of that list more than I can.  

Anyways, if anyone is feeling this way, try out this list. I believe it. 

The Illusion of Control

An interesting conversation I had last week helped me re-evaluate what I refer to as the illusion of control.  I have had a difficult time in my few adult years to understand what I truly have control over.  Growing up, I felt that if I did my best to try and be a "good little girl", everyone would get along and everything would be fine.  When my brothers would fight with one another, I would try and help create peace (well many times I'm sure I jumped in to fight too) but I knew I would receive praise from parents about being a peacemaker and being a "good little girl".  Well now I'm an adult, and I've realized life just isn't as simple as when I was seven years old.  There are some situations where no matter what you do, you won't come out with everyone thinking you were still the "good little girl".  Why is this? Because it's not in our control.  You can only do as much as humanly possible sometimes before you have run out of the area in which you can actually control.  What we can not control is how other people feel about us.  I can not seem to deal with this reality and find myself going crazy dealing with that possibility that it may be true.  We are all wired differently. What effects me in a particular way will not effect my neighbor in the same manner.  While I have a conversation with someone and get one thing out of it, someone else can have a completely different perspective.  
This is all okay, and in the end, everything will fall where it should...unless we are incapable of accepting what we can and can not control.  I have tried everything from making a list of a column of what I can control and a column of what I can not, journaling about it, reading books about it, talking to professionals, friends, family, etc, and I can not get myself to accept the reality.  
And then, I realized I had the answer in front of me the whole time.  President Ucthdorf's talk last October was an answer to my prayers.  He says, 
"My dear brothers and sisters, we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most. Let us be mindful of the foundational precepts our Heavenly Father has given to His children that will establish the basis of a rich and fruitful mortal life with promises of eternal happiness. They will teach us to do “all these things … in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that [we] should run faster than [we have] strength. [But] it is expedient that [we] should be diligent, [and] thereby … win the prize.”"


So the reason I love this so much is because I realize that by me freaking about the things, people, situations, feelings, etc. I can not control, I am not focusing on what matters most.  Continuing forward with what I can control instead of dwelling on what I can not would be the most important task I could carry out at this time in life.  I am so grateful for our modern day revelation that helps me in every aspect of my life!!

Going back to the reason I started this blog

A year and a half ago I was sitting in my room thinking about an impact a certain individual made on my life.  I so badly wanted to be able to share with the world how I felt and I wished everyone could have experienced that feeling.  I am feeling this way again, so here comes a sappy blog entry.  Bear with it if you want..

So, life has been crazy lately.  I have noticed a trend in my life and when it rains it pours. This is true with happy things and not-so-happy things as well.  However, as humans, we tend to notice the stressful things.  Anyways, life has been full...of a lot.  So today I ended up in a situation that could have been such an annoying and miserable few hours but ended up being one of the most teachable experiences of my life.  Because of a certain turn of events, I was feeling somewhat sorry for myself but as I stepped back, I realized I had so much to be grateful for. As I was going through a certain challenge, I saw that not only were there one set of footprints on the sand, there were like twenty, because I had so much support from those around me.

And then I met my new friend. My new friend had pretty much no one supporting him.. He's a severe alcoholic and was hospitalized today for SERIOUS alcohol poisoning.  He was so sick.  He was dropped off by a friend and didn't know when he was going to be picked up.  He sat in the ER room crying, like uncontrollable sobs.  My roommate and I felt sorry for him because no one was paying attention to him.  So, we did.  Jenny, with her incredibly open and hilarious personality, was able to make him feel totally comfortable.  And then I sat with him and talked to him about life.  I know I don't totally understand what he's going through, and truly I have very little experience with many of his specific heartaches.  However, I was able to relate to a certain extent and as I talked to him I was reminded why I love strangers.

My friend wasn't able to see himself the way God did.  He hated himself and figured everyone around him felt the same way.  It broke my heart to see the way he treated himself and the little respect he gave his body.  He has had so much disappointment and heartache that it just broke him.  He couldn't stand to see what his life had become and to deal with the horribleness of all of it turned to a source that seemed to give him some form of temporary comfort.  But, in the end, all it did was give him broken promises.

We all, in some way, find outlets to deal with our disappointment and frustration.  For my friend it was alcohol, but everyone does something.  If you don't, either you are reading this from Heaven cause you were translated or you haven't been pushed to your limits.  But one day we all will be pushed to our limits.  We don't know how we will deal with situations 'til we come across them.  What I do know is the Savior knows. He knows why my friend is doing what he is.  He isn't angry or even disappointed.  He feels so sad for him. I saw this as I looked at this sweet man in the eyes.  I felt so much love for him because of God's love for him, and I knew him. We all knew each other in Heaven and made promises to each other that we would help each other along the way. I am so grateful for this man. He may never know truly how much he helped me tonight.  I hope someday I can tell him when we sit and chat in Heaven.  However, God knows. And that's why He's in charge.  We won't understand everything in this world while we are here.  Someday we will.  Every now and then we get glimpses of what life is really about and why we are here. We will lose sight of it, but that's why God is in charge. He will gently remind us.  I am so grateful for my friend.  I love him.  I know he is my brother. We are all brothers and sisters and we need to treat each other as such.  Some people may judge my friend, but I know he has such great potential just as we all do.  I think the greatest Valentines present I ever got was the love for this man.  Because somehow (and someday I hope to understand how) it taught me to love myself.  We are all children of a loving Father, a God in fact, and we need to treat ourselves as His property, for that is why He sent His son, so He could claim us.

I am so eternally grateful for these reminders.  I am so grateful for the support I have around me.  I have such an incredibly loving family.  I get the nicest texts, the sweetest compliments, the most "i love you's", and frequent phone calls to remind me.  I am grateful for my roommates.  I am so blessed by them. They listen, they teach, they encourage, they help in so many ways.  I am so grateful for my wonderful home and visiting teachers, who are by far some of the most inspired people I have EVER met.  I am grateful for church leaders and former church leaders who are more of a family then anything.  I am grateful for strangers who really aren't strangers at all.  Just heavenly siblings I haven't seen in a long while.  I am so grateful God has a plan, because mine sure does suck, but His is miraculous.  He gives us everything we possibly want and so much more.

A Blessing that Goes Unrecognized

Sometimes I have no idea where my brain cells are...I created this great post around Thanksgiving and then realized I posted it on the wrong blog and so I copied the info to later post it into this blog and then must have copied something else, because it's gone...anyways sum of the story..I'm an idiot..no new news. And what sucks even more was that I spent a lot of time making that blog cute..so now I am just sad :( But..the good news is I can spend time on this post again and it's a happy post so it will make me even happier!

So there will be few posts that will be as raw and true as this post. My mind has been pondering this for a very long time and I have felt I just need to really express how I feel.  

A few weeks ago I was so angry.  I was throwing myself a complete pity party, which at the time felt completely deserved, but pity parties never do get us anywhere and that's beyond the point. This was beyond a bad day, but it was just ridiculously terrible week, probably in my top ten list of most awful weeks ever.  So do you have the picture in your mind of me being in a bad mood and hating life? Hopefully, when you picture Stephanie Burdick, your mind doesn't automatically go to that kind of mental picture, but many of you have seen the rather emotional side of me..anyways..let me proceed to the point of this blog

So, as life comes to an awful point, unknowingly I was rescued.  Whether it was the email from my far away and somewhat locked up bestie or the party my girlies drug me to or the embrace from my "utah mom", the burdens of this week went away...and up to this point I haven't felt them since.  I have thought of the rest of my "top ten worst weeks ever", and realized that each of these were also followed in the same way.  

In ways that I will probably never fully comprehend, but yet strongly believe, God has a very organized way of putting the people we need at the times in which we need them.  I have been given this blessing in more ways and at more times then I can ever fully express gratitude for.  God knows what my life is going to consist of and He knows there are many things He can not control without interfering with other's agency and so He uses angels on this Earth to help me out. 

As I endure different experiences, I hope I am then able to help others as well and it becomes a cycle.  Nothing feels better than being able to help or serve someone you love. This whole cycle is simple yet complex at the same time.  Whatever it is,  I know I have found it to be one of the most incredible blessings in my life.  

Thank you for the memories y'all. Thank you for lifting me up. Thank you for letting me lift you up when necessary.  Thank you for the drive up to Squaw peek. Thank you for the walks around the track while drinking "water" from diet coke cans.  Thank you for making me laugh as we get lost for the millioneth time. Thank you for the movie nights. Thank you for the lunch dates. Thank you for being the only one I can think to turn to late at night after I ran nine million miles and about wanted to die and you saved me with hot chocolate and a shoulder to cry on.  Thank you for letting me cry on your lap in sacrament meeting. Thank you for the late night cereal parties and 7th Heaven quotes. Thank you for the fun nights of partying! Thank you for dancing with me.  Thank you for taking me out for my birthday.  Thank you for making me a part of your family.  Thank you for introducing me to a new meaning of midnight snacks and the laughter of our "sos"ing.  Thank you for yogurt nights.  Thank you for metaphorically slapping me in the face when I needed it.  Thanks for literally literally literally saving my life when it wasn't convenient.  Thank you for knowing everything about me and loving me anyway.  

I know I haven't remembered all the times I am thinking of, but there are so many memories I have and each of these were times in which I can picture me being in a hard time and being rescued by one of you.  I love you all so much and am so grateful for all the angels in my life.  

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!

Although I love summer weather, I am a fan of this time of the year.  The holidays seem to bring out the best in people, well, maybe not Black Friday, but beyond that, we tend to look more towards Christlike behavior such as charity and service during this time of the year.  I love seeing Christmas decorations and hearing Christmas music everywhere, oh it's so exciting!
This Thanksgiving I did something I have never done before during a holiday break: I did absolutely nothing.  It was awesome. Jenny, my roommate and I, just hung out and watched movies, football, ate, slept, screamed, decorated for Christmas--our place looks LEGIT, and just had so much fun doing absolutely nothing! This is a lesson I learned this semester, sometimes it's nice to not have a to-do list or a calendar filled with this and that.  This semester has been the most chill four months of my life.  It's been great to regroup in many different areas I needed some improvement on.
Yesterday, the talks during church were focused on being grateful, and I realized I have so much to be grateful for.  I decided I would make a top ten list, like SportsCenter Top Ten.....here it goes
10. The ideas and dreams of the future. I can't wait to be a mommy! I can't wait to watch my daughter have her first ice skating lesson or my son catch his first touchdown.  I am excited for when the 49ers go to the Superbowl again and I am there with my boys. I am excited for graduation. I am excited for painting my children's playroom with my husband.  I am excited for everything life has in store, ups and downs, I just know whatever happens in life is part of this marvelous plan.  I love my life right now. Being single and having fun is always exciting, but I am grateful for the thought of the future that helps keep me on the right path.
9. The luxuries of life I have. Whether it's money for food, or shelter, or being able to attend college, or my ability to walk, there are so many things that I am grateful for that many people around the world don't have.  I don't understand it, but I am so thankful.
8. I have the greatest job ever. I love everything about health. I believe in it. I love my clients. I just love it. and I'm grateful for money!
7. Contributions and hard work of others. Whether you are one of my doctors or professors or my bank teller who always knows my name and is so good to me, I am grateful. Thank you for your hard work and for serving me and being kind to me.
6. Sunshine and Country Music...no need for explanation...they both just bring me a TON of happiness and smiles.
5. Football. This year has been awesome for me in football. I have had more time to watch football this year, then I ever have had since college.  The Razorbacks have done awesome.  It's brought me so much happiness.
4. Friends.  I am so so so fortunate for my relationships with others.  There are so many of you out there that are racing through my mind right now.  Each friendship fills a different need in my life.  I am blessed with the amount of people that can not only put up with me but truly love me.  I am so grateful that as of yesterday I have a nephew.  My best friends/practically family members Jared and Brittany gave birth to a little angel named Brady Michael Evans. I think he and I are going to have a special auntie-nephew relationship.  My best friend Sarah Schow gets home from her mission in fifteen days and I couldn't be more thrilled.  There are friends that have been in my life for a very long time and still haven't left, and new ones that love and accept me for who I am.  Some friends have come in the form of a whole family, a family that I couldn't have lived in Provo without. The people who have the awful responsibility of living with me and yet many of them are now my best friends.  Talking about an old friend yesterday who I loved very much and as he is no longer a large part of my life helped me realize that we truly are all so connected and God knows what He is doing.
3. Memories.  President Thomas S. Monson said, "God gave us memories, so we might have roses in December." I am so grateful for memories. There is nothing happier than sitting around with my family and friends and reminiscing about the good ol' days. The great thing about memories is they are created everyday. For me, it's a way to enjoy the happiness of the past while continuing to create happiness for now. I am also especially grateful for memories that help us see the hand of God in our lives. Moments we did not think we could pass through, and then we see the Lord lift us up and place us in His arms.
2. My family.  There are days, and there have been days this year, in which I felt so overwhelmed by each member of my family in one way or another.  However, I would take every single one of those difficult times because the good times have always and will always outweigh the challenges.  It's a choice to love people and to be happy with them, and I can honestly say I love my family and wouldn't change a single member.  My dad and I have some incredible memories and he has taught me so much.  Anything from details of a fumble to who Osama binLaden was.  My mom is my best friend. There is not another human being like her. Michael is one of my heroes. When I was a little girl and about to go into nursery, Michael was super worried about me and whether I'd be okay and he told my mom, don't worry I'll watch out for her.  He has never stopped. I don't know what I'd do without his advice.  Oh, and my little baby RyRy.  I love this boy so much, it's crazy.  I know God meant for him to by little man. I hope to marry someone who has a lot of the qualities of this adorable boy of mine.  I am so grateful he loves me so much and we have the relationship we do.
I love my aunts and uncles and cousins! I can't believe how close I am to some of them, and I feel so grateful. My grandparents love me so much and I have really appreciated this love and their examples.
I was also given some new family members this year, and I think we will have some good times together.
1. My faith in the Jesus Christ.  I have had some particularly difficult moments in life, and some specifically this year.  Several of them have been experiences very few people know about, and some of them have been experiences I have shared with many.  As grateful as I am for my family and friends, I know the only way I truly got through the particularly difficult moments was my Savior Jesus Christ. No one truly understands us the way He does.  This is why He is our personal Savior, because He is the only one who knows how to succor us, or deliver us. Every aspect and truth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints helps me know God and my Savior better and for this I am eternally grateful.

My New Blog!

So, I have been having slight difficulties at work trying to figure out how to get enough information to my clients in the small time I have with them. So, I started another blog to help them with nutrition and it will have  a few other tips as well. I just need to finish getting it organized, but it's gotten started, thanks to Sarah for helping me with that. I'm an idiot on blogs! Anyways, it's steph-anappleaday.blogspot.com
I don't claim to be a cooking genius by any means. However, I am going natural and partially organic with two of my roommates, so I'm having a lot of opportunities to learn even more! I do enjoy cooking, so it's been really fun so far!! I am just loving my life! My mono is all gone, so I have energy and desire to get back to the thrills of life!
If you want healthy recipes, check my blog out. You'll be surprised how easy it really is to eat correctly.  You can get a lot of food for low amounts of calories, but without neglecting nutrients that our body must have!! My roommates and I are loving it!
We did a cleanse as well...not so fun, but it was needed, my body was overloaded. It was nice to rejump my immune system before winter!!
Anyways, if you want, check out the new blog!
Happy Eating and Exercising to all!

He Cares!!

I have the coolest story to share. I am so excited about something that happened this week.  So during conference, I began thinking about how much I miss President Hinckley. I loved that man so much, and even though I know President Monson is the current Prophet of God, I just have this attachment to President Hinckley, as I'm sure most of us do.
I have loved the YouTube Mormon Message videos the Church has been putting up every couple of weeks and I was thinking how great would it be if there could be one from President Hinckley.  I said a prayer about it, and then didn't really think too much about it for a couple of weeks.
Last week, I logged on to the Mormon Messages on YouTube, and sure enough, the latest video is from President Hinckley!! I was so excited, I may have cried.
I know that this is so silly, but I just think/know that Heavenly Father cares about the smallest to largest things in our lives.  It seriously made me so happy and feel so much love!