Going back to the reason I started this blog

A year and a half ago I was sitting in my room thinking about an impact a certain individual made on my life.  I so badly wanted to be able to share with the world how I felt and I wished everyone could have experienced that feeling.  I am feeling this way again, so here comes a sappy blog entry.  Bear with it if you want..

So, life has been crazy lately.  I have noticed a trend in my life and when it rains it pours. This is true with happy things and not-so-happy things as well.  However, as humans, we tend to notice the stressful things.  Anyways, life has been full...of a lot.  So today I ended up in a situation that could have been such an annoying and miserable few hours but ended up being one of the most teachable experiences of my life.  Because of a certain turn of events, I was feeling somewhat sorry for myself but as I stepped back, I realized I had so much to be grateful for. As I was going through a certain challenge, I saw that not only were there one set of footprints on the sand, there were like twenty, because I had so much support from those around me.

And then I met my new friend. My new friend had pretty much no one supporting him.. He's a severe alcoholic and was hospitalized today for SERIOUS alcohol poisoning.  He was so sick.  He was dropped off by a friend and didn't know when he was going to be picked up.  He sat in the ER room crying, like uncontrollable sobs.  My roommate and I felt sorry for him because no one was paying attention to him.  So, we did.  Jenny, with her incredibly open and hilarious personality, was able to make him feel totally comfortable.  And then I sat with him and talked to him about life.  I know I don't totally understand what he's going through, and truly I have very little experience with many of his specific heartaches.  However, I was able to relate to a certain extent and as I talked to him I was reminded why I love strangers.

My friend wasn't able to see himself the way God did.  He hated himself and figured everyone around him felt the same way.  It broke my heart to see the way he treated himself and the little respect he gave his body.  He has had so much disappointment and heartache that it just broke him.  He couldn't stand to see what his life had become and to deal with the horribleness of all of it turned to a source that seemed to give him some form of temporary comfort.  But, in the end, all it did was give him broken promises.

We all, in some way, find outlets to deal with our disappointment and frustration.  For my friend it was alcohol, but everyone does something.  If you don't, either you are reading this from Heaven cause you were translated or you haven't been pushed to your limits.  But one day we all will be pushed to our limits.  We don't know how we will deal with situations 'til we come across them.  What I do know is the Savior knows. He knows why my friend is doing what he is.  He isn't angry or even disappointed.  He feels so sad for him. I saw this as I looked at this sweet man in the eyes.  I felt so much love for him because of God's love for him, and I knew him. We all knew each other in Heaven and made promises to each other that we would help each other along the way. I am so grateful for this man. He may never know truly how much he helped me tonight.  I hope someday I can tell him when we sit and chat in Heaven.  However, God knows. And that's why He's in charge.  We won't understand everything in this world while we are here.  Someday we will.  Every now and then we get glimpses of what life is really about and why we are here. We will lose sight of it, but that's why God is in charge. He will gently remind us.  I am so grateful for my friend.  I love him.  I know he is my brother. We are all brothers and sisters and we need to treat each other as such.  Some people may judge my friend, but I know he has such great potential just as we all do.  I think the greatest Valentines present I ever got was the love for this man.  Because somehow (and someday I hope to understand how) it taught me to love myself.  We are all children of a loving Father, a God in fact, and we need to treat ourselves as His property, for that is why He sent His son, so He could claim us.

I am so eternally grateful for these reminders.  I am so grateful for the support I have around me.  I have such an incredibly loving family.  I get the nicest texts, the sweetest compliments, the most "i love you's", and frequent phone calls to remind me.  I am grateful for my roommates.  I am so blessed by them. They listen, they teach, they encourage, they help in so many ways.  I am so grateful for my wonderful home and visiting teachers, who are by far some of the most inspired people I have EVER met.  I am grateful for church leaders and former church leaders who are more of a family then anything.  I am grateful for strangers who really aren't strangers at all.  Just heavenly siblings I haven't seen in a long while.  I am so grateful God has a plan, because mine sure does suck, but His is miraculous.  He gives us everything we possibly want and so much more.

A Blessing that Goes Unrecognized

Sometimes I have no idea where my brain cells are...I created this great post around Thanksgiving and then realized I posted it on the wrong blog and so I copied the info to later post it into this blog and then must have copied something else, because it's gone...anyways sum of the story..I'm an idiot..no new news. And what sucks even more was that I spent a lot of time making that blog cute..so now I am just sad :( But..the good news is I can spend time on this post again and it's a happy post so it will make me even happier!

So there will be few posts that will be as raw and true as this post. My mind has been pondering this for a very long time and I have felt I just need to really express how I feel.  

A few weeks ago I was so angry.  I was throwing myself a complete pity party, which at the time felt completely deserved, but pity parties never do get us anywhere and that's beyond the point. This was beyond a bad day, but it was just ridiculously terrible week, probably in my top ten list of most awful weeks ever.  So do you have the picture in your mind of me being in a bad mood and hating life? Hopefully, when you picture Stephanie Burdick, your mind doesn't automatically go to that kind of mental picture, but many of you have seen the rather emotional side of me..anyways..let me proceed to the point of this blog

So, as life comes to an awful point, unknowingly I was rescued.  Whether it was the email from my far away and somewhat locked up bestie or the party my girlies drug me to or the embrace from my "utah mom", the burdens of this week went away...and up to this point I haven't felt them since.  I have thought of the rest of my "top ten worst weeks ever", and realized that each of these were also followed in the same way.  

In ways that I will probably never fully comprehend, but yet strongly believe, God has a very organized way of putting the people we need at the times in which we need them.  I have been given this blessing in more ways and at more times then I can ever fully express gratitude for.  God knows what my life is going to consist of and He knows there are many things He can not control without interfering with other's agency and so He uses angels on this Earth to help me out. 

As I endure different experiences, I hope I am then able to help others as well and it becomes a cycle.  Nothing feels better than being able to help or serve someone you love. This whole cycle is simple yet complex at the same time.  Whatever it is,  I know I have found it to be one of the most incredible blessings in my life.  

Thank you for the memories y'all. Thank you for lifting me up. Thank you for letting me lift you up when necessary.  Thank you for the drive up to Squaw peek. Thank you for the walks around the track while drinking "water" from diet coke cans.  Thank you for making me laugh as we get lost for the millioneth time. Thank you for the movie nights. Thank you for the lunch dates. Thank you for being the only one I can think to turn to late at night after I ran nine million miles and about wanted to die and you saved me with hot chocolate and a shoulder to cry on.  Thank you for letting me cry on your lap in sacrament meeting. Thank you for the late night cereal parties and 7th Heaven quotes. Thank you for the fun nights of partying! Thank you for dancing with me.  Thank you for taking me out for my birthday.  Thank you for making me a part of your family.  Thank you for introducing me to a new meaning of midnight snacks and the laughter of our "sos"ing.  Thank you for yogurt nights.  Thank you for metaphorically slapping me in the face when I needed it.  Thanks for literally literally literally saving my life when it wasn't convenient.  Thank you for knowing everything about me and loving me anyway.  

I know I haven't remembered all the times I am thinking of, but there are so many memories I have and each of these were times in which I can picture me being in a hard time and being rescued by one of you.  I love you all so much and am so grateful for all the angels in my life.  

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!

Although I love summer weather, I am a fan of this time of the year.  The holidays seem to bring out the best in people, well, maybe not Black Friday, but beyond that, we tend to look more towards Christlike behavior such as charity and service during this time of the year.  I love seeing Christmas decorations and hearing Christmas music everywhere, oh it's so exciting!
This Thanksgiving I did something I have never done before during a holiday break: I did absolutely nothing.  It was awesome. Jenny, my roommate and I, just hung out and watched movies, football, ate, slept, screamed, decorated for Christmas--our place looks LEGIT, and just had so much fun doing absolutely nothing! This is a lesson I learned this semester, sometimes it's nice to not have a to-do list or a calendar filled with this and that.  This semester has been the most chill four months of my life.  It's been great to regroup in many different areas I needed some improvement on.
Yesterday, the talks during church were focused on being grateful, and I realized I have so much to be grateful for.  I decided I would make a top ten list, like SportsCenter Top Ten.....here it goes
10. The ideas and dreams of the future. I can't wait to be a mommy! I can't wait to watch my daughter have her first ice skating lesson or my son catch his first touchdown.  I am excited for when the 49ers go to the Superbowl again and I am there with my boys. I am excited for graduation. I am excited for painting my children's playroom with my husband.  I am excited for everything life has in store, ups and downs, I just know whatever happens in life is part of this marvelous plan.  I love my life right now. Being single and having fun is always exciting, but I am grateful for the thought of the future that helps keep me on the right path.
9. The luxuries of life I have. Whether it's money for food, or shelter, or being able to attend college, or my ability to walk, there are so many things that I am grateful for that many people around the world don't have.  I don't understand it, but I am so thankful.
8. I have the greatest job ever. I love everything about health. I believe in it. I love my clients. I just love it. and I'm grateful for money!
7. Contributions and hard work of others. Whether you are one of my doctors or professors or my bank teller who always knows my name and is so good to me, I am grateful. Thank you for your hard work and for serving me and being kind to me.
6. Sunshine and Country Music...no need for explanation...they both just bring me a TON of happiness and smiles.
5. Football. This year has been awesome for me in football. I have had more time to watch football this year, then I ever have had since college.  The Razorbacks have done awesome.  It's brought me so much happiness.
4. Friends.  I am so so so fortunate for my relationships with others.  There are so many of you out there that are racing through my mind right now.  Each friendship fills a different need in my life.  I am blessed with the amount of people that can not only put up with me but truly love me.  I am so grateful that as of yesterday I have a nephew.  My best friends/practically family members Jared and Brittany gave birth to a little angel named Brady Michael Evans. I think he and I are going to have a special auntie-nephew relationship.  My best friend Sarah Schow gets home from her mission in fifteen days and I couldn't be more thrilled.  There are friends that have been in my life for a very long time and still haven't left, and new ones that love and accept me for who I am.  Some friends have come in the form of a whole family, a family that I couldn't have lived in Provo without. The people who have the awful responsibility of living with me and yet many of them are now my best friends.  Talking about an old friend yesterday who I loved very much and as he is no longer a large part of my life helped me realize that we truly are all so connected and God knows what He is doing.
3. Memories.  President Thomas S. Monson said, "God gave us memories, so we might have roses in December." I am so grateful for memories. There is nothing happier than sitting around with my family and friends and reminiscing about the good ol' days. The great thing about memories is they are created everyday. For me, it's a way to enjoy the happiness of the past while continuing to create happiness for now. I am also especially grateful for memories that help us see the hand of God in our lives. Moments we did not think we could pass through, and then we see the Lord lift us up and place us in His arms.
2. My family.  There are days, and there have been days this year, in which I felt so overwhelmed by each member of my family in one way or another.  However, I would take every single one of those difficult times because the good times have always and will always outweigh the challenges.  It's a choice to love people and to be happy with them, and I can honestly say I love my family and wouldn't change a single member.  My dad and I have some incredible memories and he has taught me so much.  Anything from details of a fumble to who Osama binLaden was.  My mom is my best friend. There is not another human being like her. Michael is one of my heroes. When I was a little girl and about to go into nursery, Michael was super worried about me and whether I'd be okay and he told my mom, don't worry I'll watch out for her.  He has never stopped. I don't know what I'd do without his advice.  Oh, and my little baby RyRy.  I love this boy so much, it's crazy.  I know God meant for him to by little man. I hope to marry someone who has a lot of the qualities of this adorable boy of mine.  I am so grateful he loves me so much and we have the relationship we do.
I love my aunts and uncles and cousins! I can't believe how close I am to some of them, and I feel so grateful. My grandparents love me so much and I have really appreciated this love and their examples.
I was also given some new family members this year, and I think we will have some good times together.
1. My faith in the Jesus Christ.  I have had some particularly difficult moments in life, and some specifically this year.  Several of them have been experiences very few people know about, and some of them have been experiences I have shared with many.  As grateful as I am for my family and friends, I know the only way I truly got through the particularly difficult moments was my Savior Jesus Christ. No one truly understands us the way He does.  This is why He is our personal Savior, because He is the only one who knows how to succor us, or deliver us. Every aspect and truth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints helps me know God and my Savior better and for this I am eternally grateful.

My New Blog!

So, I have been having slight difficulties at work trying to figure out how to get enough information to my clients in the small time I have with them. So, I started another blog to help them with nutrition and it will have  a few other tips as well. I just need to finish getting it organized, but it's gotten started, thanks to Sarah for helping me with that. I'm an idiot on blogs! Anyways, it's steph-anappleaday.blogspot.com
I don't claim to be a cooking genius by any means. However, I am going natural and partially organic with two of my roommates, so I'm having a lot of opportunities to learn even more! I do enjoy cooking, so it's been really fun so far!! I am just loving my life! My mono is all gone, so I have energy and desire to get back to the thrills of life!
If you want healthy recipes, check my blog out. You'll be surprised how easy it really is to eat correctly.  You can get a lot of food for low amounts of calories, but without neglecting nutrients that our body must have!! My roommates and I are loving it!
We did a cleanse as well...not so fun, but it was needed, my body was overloaded. It was nice to rejump my immune system before winter!!
Anyways, if you want, check out the new blog!
Happy Eating and Exercising to all!

He Cares!!

I have the coolest story to share. I am so excited about something that happened this week.  So during conference, I began thinking about how much I miss President Hinckley. I loved that man so much, and even though I know President Monson is the current Prophet of God, I just have this attachment to President Hinckley, as I'm sure most of us do.
I have loved the YouTube Mormon Message videos the Church has been putting up every couple of weeks and I was thinking how great would it be if there could be one from President Hinckley.  I said a prayer about it, and then didn't really think too much about it for a couple of weeks.
Last week, I logged on to the Mormon Messages on YouTube, and sure enough, the latest video is from President Hinckley!! I was so excited, I may have cried.
I know that this is so silly, but I just think/know that Heavenly Father cares about the smallest to largest things in our lives.  It seriously made me so happy and feel so much love!

Conference and My latest Goal

It seems surreal to think another General Conference has come and gone. During one talk, they encouraged us to use our blogs to proclaim what we believe for our friends and family to read, so I will share my feelings from this weekend. General Conference, to me and I'm sure many, is a time to reflect about where my standing is and what progress (or lack of progress) has occurred in the past six months since the last Conference. This weekend was depressing for me in that aspect, to be honest. I really wondered what progress I have made. I couldn't think of any goals that I had reached or any bad habits I have overcame. In fact, some new bad habits popped up and some good habits decreased. I am so surprised with how many distractions there really are in this world. The thing that has been hard for me is that many of the distractions don't seem bad at first...and then they do just that--DISTRACT. I feel like my faults this year definitely stemmed from being initially distracted and then just spiraling down. I can't express enough how much I feel like the little things we do everyday are the BIG things. I know that if we begin to miss reading our scriptures and forgetting to pray and express our gratitude and ask for the Spirit to be with us throughout every day..eventually, we lose our place in life. We have so much purpose for being here. I know that we have a Father in Heaven who is watching over us and a Savior Jesus Christ who atoned for our sins and has felt all the pain we have to deal with. I know they are ready for us to talk to them! I hope I can have a better relationship with them, I know that I"m happiest when I'm doing the little things everyday. I know I'm the most miserable and not myself when I forget these little things that happen to be huge things! Elder Bednar said that we should live and focus on the Spirit being with us everyday, that is the way to make it in this crazy world. I know the things that I heard this weekend are true. I hope I can be a better person to show my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.

Okay so another thing that is on my mind that I am really, really excited about is health. Being in health and exercise classes, and working at Gold's Gym, a lot of time is spent thinking about health. I've really gained a deeper love and understanding for the Word of Wisdom. I have also been doing some readings from church leaders about health, and I decided that I am going to try out a new lifestyle. I haven't got it all figured out just yet, but it's going to be centered around natural health and beauty. It's in the very beginning stages, but once it's all figured out, I'm going to start a blog about it. It will focus on several different areas, but the main points of interest will be nutrition and exercise, spa-like treatments for hair and skin, and developing inner beauty. I am really excited!

I am going to start by doing a healthy, safe, and natural toxic cleanse. This will be especially good for me, because it will help boost my immune system and clean out my liver--both of which were completely wrecked by the mono and meningitis. Then, I am going to start the natural food meal plan. I'm also doing a "spa day" every Friday afternoon. I did one this past Friday and it was incredible. Anyways, there's a lot to it, but I'm going to try it and play around with it. It's not going to be like vegan or I'm not going completely over the top with anything, but I hope to really get to a place where my inner and outer body are at peace. I feel like this is actually one of the hidden challenges of our time, like Satan uses anything to slow us down, and I really think bad processed food can. And well, obviously, it hurts our heart, veins, etc. After I play around with this, then, I want to help other people achieve the same thing, This is why I love training. It's such a rewarding job. Oh, I just love it! I'm so excited for this adventure. Hopefully, I'll have a new blog up and running by November. I am headed home for a week soon, so I won't be able to do my cleanse till after I get back, because I will NOT give up my mama's food. :) But, once I'm back, I'm going to get it down!! Oooooh I just love living!

Family and Monday Night Football: Isn't it about...time?

Yesterday I was sitting, well actually, standing and pacing , as I watched 49ers Quarterback, Alex Smith turning over the ball to the Saints like it was their Christmas present. And as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in my brothers old and over sized but still ridiculously awesome Niners jersey, yelling at the TV; my mind flashed back to many years ago. If you would have told me when I was seven years old that I would have willingly chosen to change my plans so that I could watch a football game, I would have said you're crazy.

You see, I have a very distinct memory from a very, very young age. I was laying in bed, angry because I couldn't sleep because of the obnoxiousness of my boys. It was a common occurrence to be annoyed with all the testosterone in the house: I come from a family of only boys, besides my mom. I, being the only girl, felt I had many disadvantages (now, after living with girls for so long, I have found that I was actually very blessed :)) and I always had to voice my opposition to..well..everything. I used the, "daddy, I'm the only girl and it's not fair" complaint as much as possible.

Well, anyways, as I am laying in bed, I all of a sudden hear a very loud and deep, TOUCHDOWN 49ERRRRRSSSSS from my dad, followed by two other yelps from my brothers. I remember getting out of bed, walking out of my room and saying "BE QUIEEETTTT, I'm trying to sleep, you know". My dad told me to come watch it with them, and I walked out and sat in "the triangle". (This was a place on the couch that was perfect for my little tiny body, made by my dad's bent-knees against the couch.) I sat and watched the game with my boys..oh I love my three boys. I was probably 8 or 9 years old. My whole life I have known that when it comes to football, it's all about the Niners. My dad grew up loving them, and passed on the tradition to us.

Growing up, my dad was an extremely busy man. At this point in particular, he was opening up several additional branches, President of Rotary International, and President of Chamber of Commerce. He was also bishop. He was gone all the time. Stress was just my parents life, I don't know how they did it. Fall time meant football time. I knew that football games were just a part of life on Sundays, Mondays, and Saturdays. It seemed like something that I could never get away from, and I was more interested in watching the figure skating competitions, cheerleading competitions, or Boy Meets World. I remember at 7, 8, or 9 years old just waiting for the day I could control the TV and I would never watch this crap again.

Well, to make a long story short of how I grew to love the game, I did. I'm sure being in junior high and high school and going to the games made an impact. I'm sure that gaining an understanding of what was going on in the game helped. But the biggest reason: football represents my boys. One night I got home from ice skating practice. It was kind of a rainy night. Ryan had a lot of energy and in order to get rid of it, wanted to throw some ball in the front yard. So, being exhausted, but loving that little one, we went outside. I had to do 10 pushups every time I fumbled the ball. I loved it, well, maybe not in the moment of my 38th push up...

Anyways..By the time I hit college, I had a solid love of the game. I remember crying the first Friday night of the football season, knowing I couldn't watch my lil man play for White Hall. (even if he only cheered on the sidelines on some games) I remember crying the first time the Hogs played, knowing I wasn't in the good ol' South to enjoy the sweetness of D Mac's success. I remembering smiling from ear to ear the night in my freshman year, Ryan talked to me for THREE hours on the phone about different plays used by coaches and his opinions on them. The list goes on...

As time has passed and family dynamics have definitely changed, I still feel close to my boys through a game. We are all in very different places in life, geographically not being the only one, and yet, every time those Niners come on, and every time I hear, "Are you ready for some football..a Monday night party..." I think of me wearing one of my daddy's big t-shirts and shakin my butt singin that song. And then, in that moment of deja vu, the distance doesn't seem as far and the personal differences don't seem as separable.

It may sound dumb to think that seeing 22 guys on a field, all trying to get a ball to one side or the other can draw a family closer, but I believe it can. When it comes to family, it's all about the simple things; the memories; the not-so-picture perfect moments that are perfect in some bizarre way. It's about the moments that you think you can't wait to be over, but when they are, you'd do anything to have just another breath in that moment. With family, it's all about the time.

P.S. Are you ready for some football?? I am!